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Wednesday, November 18th, 2009
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| Time: | 2:56 am. |
| Mood: |  sick. |
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i have a tumblr now which i find easier to use than this, but we'll see if it sticks.
bridgebomb.tumblr.com
i should be asleep. thanksgiving soon, that means kristen will be home to hang out with me. yes.
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Wednesday, September 30th, 2009
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| Time: | 3:14 am. |
| Mood: |  ditzy. |
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i can't sleep. i got a new car. its starting to get colder out. every weekend in october is full of fun. and this saturday is going to be the death of me. and i can't be more excited.
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Saturday, August 29th, 2009
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| Time: | 5:37 pm. |
| Mood: |  hopeful. |
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i forgot 2 good things for friday. oops.
1) started looking at cars. and i'm hoping i get the one i want.
2) brendans bartending tonight.
3) i'm watching drop dead fred.
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Thursday, August 27th, 2009
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1) I am getting a new car over the weekend.
2) I had a nice time last night, got a good phone call, Brendan picked me up and got me drunk and got me chicken nuggets and then brought me home.
3) I get to see AGU 2 times this weekend, and The Atlantic and tons of other friends bands.
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Wednesday, August 26th, 2009
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3 good things every day?
1) work day is going relatively fast.
2) slow enough I can call out tomorrow (don't tell anyone yet!)
3) I can drink whatever and however much I please tonight.
My car is getting inspected tomorrow. I need to clean it out today (cringe) and I am fully prepared to laugh at the diagnosis.
AGU Friday with The Atlantic and Sunday with all my friends that are in bands I think at Beery's all day.
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Saturday, August 15th, 2009
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| Time: | 4:34 am. |
| Mood: |  optimistic. |
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Life is better. Or I should say my mood is better. Spoke my feelings, good outcome from it. Michaels bday at united skates tonight. Lots of fun on roller skates. Dodgie dropped me off at guidos. Brendan was lovely and is letting me sleep on his couch so I did his dishes. Softball game in the morning, then naps and true blood and entourage. I feel normal again. I guess I need those bad weeks to realize that the good times are really good. Phone will die before I get home tomorrow. Goodnight!
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| Time: | 2:25 pm. |
| Mood: |  morose. |
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I have been beyond depressed for about a week now. Usually doesn't last this long and it's starting to freak me out. I've told myself a million times that I can't base my happiness on other peoples actions, but I do. All the time. And when everyone I need starts acting shitty/shady, I can't handle it. And my money situation isn't in good shape at all, so I can't even go shopping for things to distract me.
I've been staying home more, but not totally. I'm decent at putting on a game face for interaction with people, and as lazy as I seem sometimes, I don't want to lose touch with anyone. That happens too easily on it's own. Only one person in the past week has made me forget, momentarily, how shitty I feel. And that depresses me even more.
I won't let myself think or plan for too far in the future, cause that makes me want to die. And I don't know how I'm going to get ahead money wise.
I hope I get out of this soon. It's killing me.
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| Time: | 6:06 pm. |
| Mood: |  nauseated. |
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grow up peter pan.
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| Time: | 2:13 pm. |
| Mood: |  nostalgic. |
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i'm in florida. its almost over. boo.
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| Time: | 1:13 am. |
| Mood: |  loved. | | Music: | harry potterrrrrrr. |
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drinking too much during the week equals a sober saturday. and i enjoyed it. went to hcjs with joe joe, then he took me to the bar where regina was celebrating her 30th bday. saw my second family and my chrissy and was home by 12:45. joe is the best.
2 of the days after heavy drinking this week, my recovery has included tingly hands and i dont think thats good. maybe with alcoholism being a problem in my family, i should take a step back and reevaluate what i'm doing.
i'm going to see alkaline trio and saves the day tomorrow with brendan and billy in brooklyn! day full of b's. which is my favorite letter. sir sean will also be there and that rules cause his good moods are contagious and i love him.
all of my weekends in may are going to be crazy, and im 23% dreading it. i need 2 baby presents for saturday and sunday, and i havent gotten/made anything yet. fail.
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| Time: | 12:03 am. |
| Mood: | loved. |
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before the end of april, i will be starting the process of making plans to be in paris for my 28th birthday. and i am very excited that brendan wants me there and that he brought it up tonight. talking about it makes me excited nervous.
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| Time: | 3:00 am. |
| Mood: |  annoyed. | | Music: | afi. |
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i need to get the fuck out of heeeeeeeeeeeeere. i'm ready for florida. i'm ready to spend all of my money on shows. i'm ready for montauk camping and ciara's motherfucking wedding.
if you had told me 4 or 5 years ago or even 4 or 5 months ago that joe masterson and brendan cleary would be my backbone, my source of comfort and my go to guys in the year 2009, i would have laughed. but so far, it's like i'm in a snowglobe, nothings glued down, and brendan and joe are the only things i can grab on to. i can't even figure out why they want to be friends with me. but i'm grateful for the friendship, the mind numbing beach trips, laughter, and their couches being readily available for me to sleep on.
after coming home from valley stream, i decided to burn some rice.
i'm ready for a vacay. and to see justin and kristen and nicki again.
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Tuesday, February 24th, 2009
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| Time: | 2:13 am. |
| Mood: |  drunk. |
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last week was amazing with justin and the ffts boys. i would live it again if that was an option.
what was lost will soon be remade and it will mean more to me than the original, cause instead of some stranger in amsterdam making it, it will be my best friend making it with his hands.
i haven't been feeling too good, my stomach is having major digestive issues and it's starting to worry me.
joelle got me drunk tonight.
my life is running in circles in a dead end alley way, and if i think long term, it makes me depressed, so i try not to do that.
i'm gonna try to go to omaha in april. even though justin is being less than excited about my attempts. but i understand where he's coming from.
FUCK THIS DISTANCE. best friends belong with me on this island.
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Monday, February 9th, 2009
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| Time: | 6:48 pm. |
| Mood: | defeated. |
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i think i lost something immensely important to me saturday night because i drank too much. this makes me so sad but theres nothing i can do about it unless it's hiding in my room. and on top of that i tried to break my knee. ugh. its hard to stay in good spirits when everything that is wrong right now could have been prevented but i'm stupid.
hopefully my knee will be ok by the end of the week, cause the ladies from FL are coming in thursday night then philly on friday then off from work and partying with Justin's band for 3 or 4 days!
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Tuesday, November 4th, 2008
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| Time: | 9:31 pm. |
| Mood: | sick. |
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the fest has kicked all of our asses. i'm back in ny in one piece, i miss my FL friends already, i still feel queasy when i think about beer, and i think i re-caught the cold i gave everyone.
but i saw less than jake play on halloween in gainesville, sang true believers while completely shitfaced with some of my favorite people, saw none more black play in a practice space/warehouse and ate IHOP.
so it was about 50/50. i don't know how people are alcoholics. i can't drink like that.
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Thursday, October 16th, 2008
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| Time: | 12:44 pm. |
| Mood: |  weird. |
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I still work through a temp agency in Syosset. It's usually very boring. Once in a while someone new starts working and it makes it more interesting. A new boy started in the warehouse last week, I do not know his name, although I see him everyday. 2 times this past week he has parked next to me, and he sits in his car on his lunch break, like I do. He listens to music WAY too loud, and with the windows down I hear it like it's in my car. Today he's been through Glassjaw, MSI, Saves the Day, Taking Back Sunday, Thursday, Poison the Well and quite a few unrecognizable hardcore songs. It's really funny that I feel like it gives me clues about a person by knowing what kind of music they listen to. Would I want someone to make a judgement of me based on my musical tastes? I think that would be funny to watch. Try to peg me based on the musical stylings of Marilyn Manson, Justin Timberlake, Everytime I Die and Scissor Sisters. I'd be an angry gay goth kid that likes pop music.
This is so weird.
Oh, and I miss Janine, and I drank my first cup of coffee ever and feel like I'm on drugs, to add to the surreal feeling of today.
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Thursday, September 4th, 2008
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| Time: | 11:25 pm. |
| Mood: |  giggly. |
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after 26 years of never being on a plane, i'm doing it for the 2nd time in 8 months for halloween!!!! and this time i'm going to pretend to be a grown up and go by myself. the reason this trip could not wait til my birthday again is the fest 7 is happening in gainesville FL, and less than jake is playing along with the bouncing souls and i get to see paul baribeau and its only 55$ for 3 days of drunk fun! and i'm going for almost a week. i'm excited.
i play a harry potter game on my computer a lot, and it's awesome, except for the fact that they walk too slow. harry potter wouldn't walk everywhere. where's his fucking broomstick?!
i'm starting on my pirate scrapbook and catching up on project runway tonight. then tomorrow i have to shop for wedding presents for Chrissy. sunday is her bridal shower and i'm almost dreading it. maybe alcohol will be involved? it's in smithtown. gross.
its too easy to spend money online. i have to stop spending money. but i don't. i never do.
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| Time: | 1:17 am. |
| Mood: |  contemplative. |
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Let it die and get out of my mind
We don't see eye to eye
Or hear ear to ear
Don't you wish that we could forget that kiss ?
And see this for what it is
That we're not in love
The saddest part of a broken heart
Isn't the ending so much as the start
It was hard to tell just how I felt
To not recognize myself
I started to fade away
And after all it won't take long to fall in love
Now I know what I don't want
I learned that with you
The saddest part of a broken heart
Isn't the ending so much as the start
The tragedy starts from the very first spark
Losing your mind for the sake of your heart
The saddest part of a broken heart
Isn't the ending so much as the start
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Wednesday, April 2nd, 2008
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| Time: | 11:02 pm. |
| Mood: | nostalgic. |
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sometimes i wonder why i am friends with certain people. some annoy me, make me mad, make me feel like crap, or just plain confuse me. but then the feeling passes and i accept everything for what it is.
anyways, the month of march was fantastic. just like i thought it would be.
highlights :
birthday party
and FLORIDAAAA
along with various other things and lots of birthdays and shows, this month was probably the best month i've had in my life. and i'm tired.
if i'm on your friends list and i just blew it up, my apologies. i'm too lazy to bother with one of those cut things.
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bridgebomborama's journal
silly.